An Incalculable Value
by iviscrit
Summary: "I hope I have illustrated to the best of my ability the glimpses of Holmes' great heart that are so rare to behold." Oneshot. Watson reflects on an instant where Holmes reveals his human side. Please R&R!


A/N: For one of the more amazing people in the world. Layne, I am an eternity too late. But here it is.

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_1888_

I had been Sherlock Holmes' friend and companion for some seven years, and as such had been privy to many of his cases, from 'A Study in Scarlet' to 'The Adventure of the Noble Bachelor.' From my first exposure to his life as the world's only consulting detective, I have documented each and every one of his cases with the utmost care, regardless of whether or not he approves. Often, Holmes has pointed out rather sanctimoniously of my focus on the sensational facets of the case, focusing more on an intriguing story rather than his science of deduction. As a result I rarely have the chance to insert some details that I feel would be valuable to the reader, and perhaps shed light on Holmes' more human aspects. On occasion, when I am in the editing process of one of the cases, I find that I have written Holmes reminiscent of an automaton, and I grow concerned that the readership will forever remain unaware of the great heart that accompanies the great brain. I have honestly included his human failings, but too often he conceals his feelings during a case for me to write enough to give the reader a clear picture of the sort of man he is. What little I am allowed to see is often at the conclusion of a case, dubbing the material I wish to add as "extraneous, with no bearing on the work I do, Watson." Such a moment happened following the closing of the most important case of my life, so far.

Holmes took on 'The Sign of the Four' during early autumn in '87, a case that I hold close to my heart. I may never speak ill of the inconvenience his work may on occasion bring me, as it is the reason I have found my better half. However, as I neared completion of my documentation of the latest mystery, I noticed a change in Holmes' behaviour. He was more than once rather gruff, and more short with my inability to follow his rapidity of thought than usual. I hadn't the slightest idea what to attribute it to at first. Now, I think I have deduced something of my own.

"And when will you be moving out, Watson?"

"Immediately after the wedding, Holmes. You know that, my good fellow, you've asked at least half a dozen times this week alone."

He had a twist of irony to his mouth. "And when is the wedding? Forgive me, my memory is not quite as sharp as it used to be."

"Interesting you should say that, Holmes. I was just writing of its amazing capacity in great detail. Perhaps I should revise it, before I send it off for publication?" I asked, mirthful.

"It is not my memory that allows me to do what I do, though it is a useful resource," Holmes said irritably, ignoring my quip. "You ought to know by now it is the Science of Deduction, Watson, and you would do well to emphasize that rather than focus on a story, should you have intentions of publishing."

I was used to his criticism by now, and knew better than to refute him. Instead I addressed his bad temper, something no amount of cocaine could seem to cure. "What's going on, Holmes? Let me employ your science to the best of my extremely humble ability. You have been even more sulky than usual at the conclusion of a case, and have doubled your filthy cocaine intake. You've taken up a new case with a man named Barker, but your distracted state has hindered you in your efforts, as evidenced by repeated failed experiments in your room that usually are set to rights after a few tries. Barker is growing impatient with you and you with him- I noticed when you read a letter addressed from him you threw it into the fire with a frown. You grimaced twice when you saw my trunks in the process of being packed, and shortly afterward had an accident with something to do with sulfur. I take it the sight led to that mess in your room since you were distracted. At the risk of sounding narcissistic, I conclude you aren't happy about my impending marriage."

For the first time in far too long, I witnessed his silent laugh, and I cannot describe the relief I felt at seeing him smile after months of a ceaseless scowl. "Ah, Watson!" he said, his laughter run its course, "you really have improved marvelously."

"My reasoning was quite sound, I trust?" I said with some importance."I left nothing out?"

"No, my good fellow, your reasoning is perpetually flawed, though you are improving in your analysis of a friend. However, knowing a friend is a far cry from deducing things from _facts_, my dear Watson. You have picked my most ambiguous doings to be the supportive facts in your deduction, but were you not familiar with my moods and tastes, you wouldn't have arrived at such a conclusion."

"How could I have not examined facts if I arrived at the proper conclusion?" I blustered. "You confess you are not happy about the marriage, then?"

"I will go into that in a moment if you let me, but your 'facts' could lead to anything, unsupported," Holmes said. "You are correct about my cocaine intake, but I'm afraid it ends there. Barker is my dentist, and he has been hounding me about an appointment I've been trying to avoid for some time. I need to get a tooth drilled. The experiments were not repeated failures, merely repeated. Making copper sulfate often seems like something has gone awry to the casual observer. I did grimace, but I was not looking at your trunks. I had spilled red wine on the carpet the night before, and despite poor Mrs. Hudson's best efforts, the rug is ruined. I felt responsible for it. That mess you referred to was from a very successful effort in making a stain removing agent. As you will see, the stain is gone." He smiled. "But good try, Watson. Perhaps you will pick up the trick in no time at all. It is, as you say, elementary."

"I maintain that my conclusion is right, Holmes," I said firmly, "and as of now that is all that matters. Tell me why you dislike the idea of me wedding Mary."

"I have said no such thing."

"Holmes, I flatter myself that I know you better than most," I said, "and you didn't behave like this until I made my intentions towards Mary clear." He did not answer me, and instead set about tuning his violin, frowning again, though it may well have been from concentration. He played the 'tuning song' through a few times, and began a lively little piece which slowly became melancholy. Hearing it made my anger ebb away gradually, and I regarded Holmes with newfound sympathy. The cold eyes were dimmed, and his jaw was firmly set in a grim expression. I saw not an automaton, not a calculating detective, but my dearest friend in all the world. "Why does my leaving upset you?" I tried again, clapping him bracingly on the shoulder. "Come now, old chap, you can tell me if you don't like Mary. I won't begrudge you your opinion."

"I would feel the same towards any woman to whom you would propose," Holmes said, looking fixedly at the wall. "I have nothing against Miss Morstan. The fact is, Watson-" and here he turned to look at me, "I am lost without my Boswell." His sharp voice trembled a bit as he got the words out, and I shall never forget how greatly moved I was.

"Marrying Mary will change nothing, Holmes," I said, my sincerity apparent. "To do so would be foolhardy. I would lose not only a reason to write, but an irreplaceable friend."

He didn't reply, but he did not need to. His expression said all I needed to hear, and seven years of humble friendship rose to my mind as the obvious worth for all I endured as his housemate. And so, I hope I have illustrated to the best of my ability the glimpses of Holmes' great heart that are so rare to behold. The value is incalculable, and ought to be valued as much, if not more, as his great brain.

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**A/N: Let me just say it is FRICKING IMPOSSIBLE to write Holmes' voice. Watson was damn near impossible but not quite as bad. **

**All that aside, I wanted a slightly emotional bit of Holmes/Watson while staying true to Doyle's form. I toyed with the idea of making Holmes give a slightly more revealing confession but I couldn't make the words come without making him seem OOC. Also, Layne, I hope you enjoyed! If you want them to kiss after Watson's last line, let me know in your review and I'll see what I can do. ;)**

**Review, please!**


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